Bear Hug: Grief Support for Elementary Children during COVID
My hope is that when a child goes through that heartbreaking experience of losing a loved one, they don't come out of it feeling as though the adults in their life knew what was going on, but didn't tell them about it, or that they were lied to. |
The effects of the Covid-19 Pandemic have affected all of us - young and old - and as a result of the lockdowns, isolation, and impact of the virus on our loved ones, there has been much to grieve throughout this time. My goal in implementing Bear Hug was to provide a safe space in which students could meet virtually to engage in grief support, to better understand what it means to experience grief and learn about various coping strategies to help navigate the big feelings that come along with it.
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"A Little Spot of Sadness" by Diane alber |
"A Terrible Thing Happened" by MARGARET m. holmes |
Grief support resources for children
Reflections
As I wrap up this term, I am thinking about what Deborah Frieze and Margaret Wheatley described in the learning journey through Joubert Park in their book Walk Out, Walk On of start anywhere, follow it everywhere. I started this term recognizing the lack of grief support for our little learners at the elementary school, and how desperately they needed the ability to navigate and understand the grief they were experiencing. I didn’t know what I was doing; I’m not a grief counselor, I’m not a licensed therapist – I’m a behavioral cadre personnel who supports high-behavior need students to self-regulate and succeed in school. But what I did know from my experience working in behavior is the reality that behaviors that come to the surface in negative ways are ultimately cries for help related to internal dysregulation, often times emotional or related to trauma. I knew that these little ones would need supports and coping strategies to navigate what they were confused by with the feelings of grief and loss they were experiencing, and I was reminded through reading Margaret and Deborah’s writing that I don’t need to depend on the experts to show up when I have exactly what my students needed to meet this need: a listening ear and a willingness to hold their hands virtually while processing their big feelings.
I have seen the ways in which my willingness to show up and just get it started led to being able to follow it everywhere. I see how much our students better understand themselves and don’t feel so ashamed for having outbursts or sad days because they recognize sadness as a feeling that is normal when you have loved someone or something, and they recognize anger and anxiety as normal feelings when experiencing unknown and challenging circumstances. Providing Bear Hug helped me see just how much these sweet kiddos needed to name what they were experiencing, and how powerful it was for them to be able to just say “I feel anxiety when ____” and “I feel sadness when ____” and “I feel anger when ____”. I consider it a privilege that I have been able to spend this time with our students, as I learned just as much from them and their resilience during this time of grief and loss as I hope I have been able to teach them.
I have seen the ways in which my willingness to show up and just get it started led to being able to follow it everywhere. I see how much our students better understand themselves and don’t feel so ashamed for having outbursts or sad days because they recognize sadness as a feeling that is normal when you have loved someone or something, and they recognize anger and anxiety as normal feelings when experiencing unknown and challenging circumstances. Providing Bear Hug helped me see just how much these sweet kiddos needed to name what they were experiencing, and how powerful it was for them to be able to just say “I feel anxiety when ____” and “I feel sadness when ____” and “I feel anger when ____”. I consider it a privilege that I have been able to spend this time with our students, as I learned just as much from them and their resilience during this time of grief and loss as I hope I have been able to teach them.