A journey back to me: Kalen & Patti at bloomin boutique (work in progress)
My Story to Bloomin boutique
Only two years ago I was at a completely trapped in my own mind, and in my dorm room. I had made the choice go far away from home and friends to attend a school that I always thought was the best. Except it wasn’t, at least not for me. Attending this school created just the right conditions to trigger a great change in myself. I cut myself off from others, I ended up playing with my growing sadness until it all snapped. I remember the night I realized the engulfing temperance of my life. It felt like a growing chunk of ice in my gut. Once the chill hit my chest I got up from my chair and ran up the stairs to my dorm room. I was so stunned as I waited for this paralyzing feeling to pass. I would end up waiting 12 months.
I was in my own spiral of major depression broken up by anxiety. There was no escape for me, I fell victim to my own brain. But following some dramatic events I was finally forced home by my family. I didn’t want to admit how shattered I was as a person. My family had always been strong and independant, I wanted to be the same. I didn’t want to drag on the heels of my brothers or sisters, I also wouldn’t have dared to disappoint my parents. In the end that’s what I had to do though. I withdrew from 16 credits, a 12 month lease and a pet hedgehog to go home and walk out on what I thought I should be.
When I came home my oldest sister suggested that I try to devote my time to helping and serving others. She knew of my 21-year old crisis I was facing at the time. I was struck by this idea more than any other. I thought about how simple and good it would be to step away from my self-fixated mind and focus on someone else. With this kind of effort I didn’t want to wait like I had before. I immediately found Bloomin Boutique. I simply sent a text to a woman I had never met before to see if I could do anything to help. She quickly set up a time to meet with her the next day and make sanitary kits for young girls.
Patti Sears was strong and energetic person who was ready to share every detail with you about, well-- anything! Very unlike myself at the time. I was simply sitting down and quietly putting tampons and toothpaste into plastic bags, while she went on and on about the amazing efforts they were making to help children. Sitting in the boutique I saw the stacks of new clothes for kids and toys littered around the room. Patti got my opinion of the adorable clothes she had purchased for a teenage girl. This was a stark and colorful contrast to my previous life only a few months ago stuck in a dim/grey dorm room. It was during this time I saw the type of impact one person could have on her community.
This is what led me to choosing Bloomin Boutique as my community partner this semester. In a way, this boutique helped me heal from a rough year. Now it is time for me to be able to reach out and heal others through this boutique. I hope to do this by helping Patti update her internet and social presence in the Portland area. This small and simple act can help me move past myself and impact others as Patti has impacted me.
I was in my own spiral of major depression broken up by anxiety. There was no escape for me, I fell victim to my own brain. But following some dramatic events I was finally forced home by my family. I didn’t want to admit how shattered I was as a person. My family had always been strong and independant, I wanted to be the same. I didn’t want to drag on the heels of my brothers or sisters, I also wouldn’t have dared to disappoint my parents. In the end that’s what I had to do though. I withdrew from 16 credits, a 12 month lease and a pet hedgehog to go home and walk out on what I thought I should be.
When I came home my oldest sister suggested that I try to devote my time to helping and serving others. She knew of my 21-year old crisis I was facing at the time. I was struck by this idea more than any other. I thought about how simple and good it would be to step away from my self-fixated mind and focus on someone else. With this kind of effort I didn’t want to wait like I had before. I immediately found Bloomin Boutique. I simply sent a text to a woman I had never met before to see if I could do anything to help. She quickly set up a time to meet with her the next day and make sanitary kits for young girls.
Patti Sears was strong and energetic person who was ready to share every detail with you about, well-- anything! Very unlike myself at the time. I was simply sitting down and quietly putting tampons and toothpaste into plastic bags, while she went on and on about the amazing efforts they were making to help children. Sitting in the boutique I saw the stacks of new clothes for kids and toys littered around the room. Patti got my opinion of the adorable clothes she had purchased for a teenage girl. This was a stark and colorful contrast to my previous life only a few months ago stuck in a dim/grey dorm room. It was during this time I saw the type of impact one person could have on her community.
This is what led me to choosing Bloomin Boutique as my community partner this semester. In a way, this boutique helped me heal from a rough year. Now it is time for me to be able to reach out and heal others through this boutique. I hope to do this by helping Patti update her internet and social presence in the Portland area. This small and simple act can help me move past myself and impact others as Patti has impacted me.
Goal: To create a new and updated website for bloomin boutique and bb4kids organization
Click the icon to go check out bb4kids current website!
The journey
There are times in life where we don’t get exactly what we were expecting. Thus are my trials with my project so far. However, when things don’t end up how we want them to, that does not give people the right to give up or quit. At least this is how I want to live my life. I want to be able to face challenges and rise up to meet my own expectations and the expectations of others.
There are two major difficulties I am having with my project so far. First was the fact that my project was much bigger than I expected it to be. Bloomin Boutique is part of a larger group known as Building Blocks 4 Kids or the BB4Kids. I thought I was just going to be working on the website for Bloomin Boutique, but that wasn’t what Patti thought. I clarified with her just last week after I had drafted up my design for the updated website. After reviewing my drafts and explaining how much she loved it, we got into the logistics of what we will be doing. It is then I realized that Patti wasn’t expecting a whole new site to be dedicated to Bloomin Boutique, but wanted a whole new look for the BB4Kids website. Designing a webpage for a single outlet is one thing, but adding on various other programs from a larger organization includes so many more people and dynamics to the situation.
That was not the only thing that I realized after meeting with Patti. You see, Patti does not like spending money on anything other than things that will directly benefit children. So artistic design, painting, cleaning, administration, office supplies and web design should come free or cheap for Patti to approve of it. Being a thrifty person myself I totally understand the importance of this concept. I also know the money she does spend goes to helping underprivileged children. So what am I to do when her web designer Bob tells me a revision such as this would cost more than the original setup? (That costed around $800.) I tried bargaining with him in the effort that I might be able to go on his program and design it myself. He wouldn’t have to do anything but give me the passcodes to edit the page. For professional reasons Bob did not agree with this. Again, I cannot deny his want to protect himself personally and professionally by not allowing a young college student with no web design experience to edit his work.
So here I am… Stuck at impasse. I have worked so hard to get my thoughts and ideas for the design of this new page collected, but it is all for nothing now. Or is it? There was a moment a few weeks ago when my boss resigned from her position as a manager of our 104 unit apartment complex. So I was left alone with a temp agent or two, to unofficially step up and be the manager until we hired a new one. Overwhelmed and stressed, my first day without my boss was horrible. I was lost, confused and frustrated with everyone and everything around me. I got a raging headache by the end of the night. I was dreading work the next day.
It was in that moment an epiphany hit me. “I’m going to figure this out, and I’m going to kick ass!” Literally the words popped into my head as I was driving my car on my way to work that next day. Well, that’s exactly what I did too! Step by step I took control of all the new things I was in charge of now that my boss was gone, I figured out exactly what to do and how to do it. The next step came naturally, I kicked ass at my job! The stress and anxiety I felt before has now washed away to allow me to focus on my work and not drown in my own self doubt.
Even though this project is not what I originally planned for, that does not mean I am stuck as a hopeless overworked college student. Instead I need to echo the words of my own creation. Figure this out and kick ass!
I plan to do this by finding the right hosting site for me to create my own version of the BB4Kids website. This will allow me to present it to those in charge of the organization beyond Patti Sears. If they like it, great! If not, I can at least give them ideas on how to slowly improve their internet presence. I have also enlisted the help of my fellow classmate Moe to come take pictures and film some things for Bloomin Boutique. I hope to find to compensate him for his time and willingness to help me and BB4Kids.
I may have a lot of work ahead of me, but in order to fulfill my desire to rise above my predisposition of depression and self deprivation, I’ll have to make it work. I am happy that I have the opportunities before me to give me different options on how to tackle this task. One step at a time, I’ll figure this whole thing out. I hope my next step after this is pretty clear by now.
There are two major difficulties I am having with my project so far. First was the fact that my project was much bigger than I expected it to be. Bloomin Boutique is part of a larger group known as Building Blocks 4 Kids or the BB4Kids. I thought I was just going to be working on the website for Bloomin Boutique, but that wasn’t what Patti thought. I clarified with her just last week after I had drafted up my design for the updated website. After reviewing my drafts and explaining how much she loved it, we got into the logistics of what we will be doing. It is then I realized that Patti wasn’t expecting a whole new site to be dedicated to Bloomin Boutique, but wanted a whole new look for the BB4Kids website. Designing a webpage for a single outlet is one thing, but adding on various other programs from a larger organization includes so many more people and dynamics to the situation.
That was not the only thing that I realized after meeting with Patti. You see, Patti does not like spending money on anything other than things that will directly benefit children. So artistic design, painting, cleaning, administration, office supplies and web design should come free or cheap for Patti to approve of it. Being a thrifty person myself I totally understand the importance of this concept. I also know the money she does spend goes to helping underprivileged children. So what am I to do when her web designer Bob tells me a revision such as this would cost more than the original setup? (That costed around $800.) I tried bargaining with him in the effort that I might be able to go on his program and design it myself. He wouldn’t have to do anything but give me the passcodes to edit the page. For professional reasons Bob did not agree with this. Again, I cannot deny his want to protect himself personally and professionally by not allowing a young college student with no web design experience to edit his work.
So here I am… Stuck at impasse. I have worked so hard to get my thoughts and ideas for the design of this new page collected, but it is all for nothing now. Or is it? There was a moment a few weeks ago when my boss resigned from her position as a manager of our 104 unit apartment complex. So I was left alone with a temp agent or two, to unofficially step up and be the manager until we hired a new one. Overwhelmed and stressed, my first day without my boss was horrible. I was lost, confused and frustrated with everyone and everything around me. I got a raging headache by the end of the night. I was dreading work the next day.
It was in that moment an epiphany hit me. “I’m going to figure this out, and I’m going to kick ass!” Literally the words popped into my head as I was driving my car on my way to work that next day. Well, that’s exactly what I did too! Step by step I took control of all the new things I was in charge of now that my boss was gone, I figured out exactly what to do and how to do it. The next step came naturally, I kicked ass at my job! The stress and anxiety I felt before has now washed away to allow me to focus on my work and not drown in my own self doubt.
Even though this project is not what I originally planned for, that does not mean I am stuck as a hopeless overworked college student. Instead I need to echo the words of my own creation. Figure this out and kick ass!
I plan to do this by finding the right hosting site for me to create my own version of the BB4Kids website. This will allow me to present it to those in charge of the organization beyond Patti Sears. If they like it, great! If not, I can at least give them ideas on how to slowly improve their internet presence. I have also enlisted the help of my fellow classmate Moe to come take pictures and film some things for Bloomin Boutique. I hope to find to compensate him for his time and willingness to help me and BB4Kids.
I may have a lot of work ahead of me, but in order to fulfill my desire to rise above my predisposition of depression and self deprivation, I’ll have to make it work. I am happy that I have the opportunities before me to give me different options on how to tackle this task. One step at a time, I’ll figure this whole thing out. I hope my next step after this is pretty clear by now.